Water Spots

Water Spots

Click on the link; run your mouse over the picture. Relax.

THE MAN RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the "other" one.

1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

INFORMATIONAL SIGNS

Yeah, I know I'm "keeping back"!

And YOUR preference would be?

Dude Ranch? Stud Farm? I always wondered where these little boogers were "raised." Now I know. This is in Wyoming, approximately 15 to 20 miles north of Lusk.

Books on my "MUST Read" List:

A Variety of Various Values by Miss L. Ayneeus
How Did I Get Here by Helena Hand-Basket
Tales of a Whore House at Midnight by Ivana Spitz-Swallows
Gigantic Member by Dixie Normous
Spilt Milk and Other Liquid Disasters by Tea-Wrecks
It Ain't Pretty Growing Old, Baby by IMDKNPDQ
More Tales of a Whore House at Midnight by Ivant Morehead
Poster Child for Stupidity by Stu Piddman
My Colonoscopy Shows My Head Is Up My Butt by Stu Piddass
????????? by Stu PidWHAT?
Ass Play by Artuv Ascraft
Art of the Suck by Phil A. Xio
I Have a HUGE Surprise for You by Mike Hawk
I Love Chicken Hawks by Sum Yong Gai

Conversation Overheard in a Restaurant:
Butter Waiter, "Would you care for more butter?"
Water Waiter, "May I give you more water?"
Bread Waiter, "Would you like some more bread?"
Head Waiter, "May I give you more ....?"

WEIRD, CRAZY NAMES: Eileen Dover; Patua Groin; Jack Mehoff; Mike Hunt; Lotta Seimen; Rod Guzinya; Peter Guzinya; Wilma Fingado; Kamona Wanaleia; Eaton Bush; Ophelia Pecker; Haywood Jablowme; U. Ben Yankinoff; Clamidia Carrier; Dick Hertz; Busta Hyman; Craven Morehead; Harry Cox; Harry Dix; Harry Crank; Harry Schwantz; Harry Wang; Harry Dong; Harry Ying-Yang; Harry Balzac; Harry Paratestees; Yowana Nailer; I. Sherwood Nailer; Howell U. Nailer; Ivana Dewa Bottom; Tamara Willut Hurt; Albee Dun-Quik; Justin DeFrunt Sailor; Oral Cahnbe Good; Oral Israel Fast; Ann Safur Tew; Oralee May Werk; Willa U. Letta-Snow; Mayor Dick B. Fielin-Good

Rainbow Bear

Dream Catcher

MIND CONTROL

Entelizjent Wurdz

icanhascheezburger.com

PEDOPHILIA gets the "A-OK, No Biggie" Stamp of Approval from:

The Heirarchy of the Catholic Church

(We truly appreciate our representatives who succeed in keeping it in the dark!!!)

Evening on the Beach

I Be Fraymd